Now that I have effectively elevated bathing to the level of sport, I figured that it was time to spice things up a bit. Throw myself a curve ball, so to speak. I just tried the all-natural, totally organic, no-hippies-were-harmed-in-the-groovy-creation-of-this soap that Andrew bought for me. Thank you Andrew. I think that it's called "forest sprite" or "harmony pine" or some shit.

Well, it worked. I smell like a plant.

And so does my bathroom. And the adjacent bedroom. And the rat that I picked up about an hour after the fact.

In the case of the rat, it's an obvious improvement. He went from reeking of pee to reeking of a pee-soaked forest.

The other rats can't figure him out at all now. They have extremely poor eyesight (and, you know, small brains) so they just keep sniffing him and freaking out. A few minutes ago he tried to climb into the hammock--poor tired rat--and the other three attacked him. I have a sneaking suspicion that watching "Rat Deathmatch" and snickering is somehow morally repugnant, but the fact of the matter is that I don't like this particular rat. I don't like him one bit. And Elimidate won't be on for another two hours.

Besides, there's nothing I can do. It's the power of the soap, you see.