I'd prefer to be the world's foremost bubble bath expert as opposed to the way I feel after last night. By the way, that's not meant to make you feel worse. Ok, maybe just slightly. Is Portland really so "over 21" that there's not much you can do (at least past 2 a.m.)? Hmmm, suggestions, suggestions...I know! Start making a new sock puppet each night you start feeling like this. I'm serious, you should go all out, but do it while W's asleep. After you've made 6 (?), start writing a fucked-up, trippy play to put on one night after W wakes up. He'll feel so sorry for you that he'll have to take you out or something. It'll be fantabulous.
P.S. Are you satan (...the satan who commented on my blog? If you're not, COMMENT! Love you!)
see? this is why you need to come back to atlanta! i can take you to underground art shows and poetry readings and experimental music shows that will make you want to shove those sock puppets in your ears! seriously. we've got roller derby, too. but anyway, writing blog entries is a good way to fill time. for all of us!
Don't you pay like 200 dollars a month for a 24-hour a day gym membership?
I seem to recall that being the case.
Two hundred dollars per month.
TWO. HUNDRED.
Bitch, that is alot of fucking money. Go out and tone your abs at 2 am. Run on the treadmill for 20 minutes, and use the consequent energy and clarity of mind to write something. Or to go grocery shopping and make W a super-duper-world-class breakfast that the two of you can share over candle-light when he wakes up. Or to go to Wal-Mart and buy some paint or clay and make some goddamn art. Or to go out on walks with the cat.
Because you are paying hard-earned money that could be spent on porn or fixing your car on a fucking gym membership, and you are now obligated to USE IT.
Also, and I'm sure you've talked to him about this before, but you might want to really express to W, that, in light of his leaving school, it is imperative that he get a day-time job so that yall are on the same schedule. Because this is not making either of you happy.
And if you give me that wishy-washy line about being prisoners to the job because of the health insurance again, I will cry. UPS does not hold the copywrite on employee benefits. I will sit down with the both of you and help him find a day-time job that pays better and still covers the medical bills.
(And I'm sorry that this sounds so bitchy, but I'm sitting here in the library at 10 AM trying to figure out what in the Hell I am going to write for my 9-page paper that is due in two days, and it is not making me happy). --Andrew
I am The Wayward E, content for now, merely awaiting the rains. There is sadness coming. The nectarines sink amongst themselves against the glass, growing evermore sticky and too sweet.
4 comments:
I'd prefer to be the world's foremost bubble bath expert as opposed to the way I feel after last night. By the way, that's not meant to make you feel worse. Ok, maybe just slightly. Is Portland really so "over 21" that there's not much you can do (at least past 2 a.m.)? Hmmm, suggestions, suggestions...I know! Start making a new sock puppet each night you start feeling like this. I'm serious, you should go all out, but do it while W's asleep. After you've made 6 (?), start writing a fucked-up, trippy play to put on one night after W wakes up. He'll feel so sorry for you that he'll have to take you out or something. It'll be fantabulous.
P.S. Are you satan (...the satan who commented on my blog? If you're not, COMMENT! Love you!)
see? this is why you need to come back to atlanta! i can take you to underground art shows and poetry readings and experimental music shows that will make you want to shove those sock puppets in your ears!
seriously.
we've got roller derby, too.
but anyway, writing blog entries is a good way to fill time. for all of us!
Don't you pay like 200 dollars a month for a 24-hour a day gym membership?
I seem to recall that being the case.
Two hundred dollars per month.
TWO. HUNDRED.
Bitch, that is alot of fucking money. Go out and tone your abs at 2 am. Run on the treadmill for 20 minutes, and use the consequent energy and clarity of mind to write something. Or to go grocery shopping and make W a super-duper-world-class breakfast that the two of you can share over candle-light when he wakes up. Or to go to Wal-Mart and buy some paint or clay and make some goddamn art. Or to go out on walks with the cat.
Because you are paying hard-earned money that could be spent on porn or fixing your car on a fucking gym membership, and you are now obligated to USE IT.
Also, and I'm sure you've talked to him about this before, but you might want to really express to W, that, in light of his leaving school, it is imperative that he get a day-time job so that yall are on the same schedule. Because this is not making either of you happy.
And if you give me that wishy-washy line about being prisoners to the job because of the health insurance again, I will cry. UPS does not hold the copywrite on employee benefits. I will sit down with the both of you and help him find a day-time job that pays better and still covers the medical bills.
(And I'm sorry that this sounds so bitchy, but I'm sitting here in the library at 10 AM trying to figure out what in the Hell I am going to write for my 9-page paper that is due in two days, and it is not making me happy).
--Andrew
She's not Satan.
I am.
Post a Comment