I haz a seekrit.

Seriously, click that link. I swear to god you'll never look at your life the same way again.

Having just spent several hours cleaning the ferret's cage, bathing him, changing his litterbox, putting child-safety locks on all the cabinets, blocking off the entrances to that apparently super-enticing deathtrap behind the fridge-oven block, and generally rearranging my entire fucking house so that he could roam the kitchen at will...having done all this (and I want to emphasize the bathing aspect), I just walked into my new ferrety kitchen habitat to find said weasel asleep in his litterbox.

IN HIS GODDAMN LITTERBOX.

True, it was cleaner than usual. But not, hey, here is an awesome new napping spot! clean. Not even fucking close. Think of my pet keeping techniques what you will--I empty the fucking litterbox, I don't scrub the thing.

He wants me to kill him.

That is absolutely the only explanation I can muster. That weasel has a fucking deathwish. I guess the single-minded determination to wedge himself into the exposed wiring behind the fridge while licking the spark plug and stretching his tail to touch the broiling oven coils might have been a clue.

ARGH.

Anyway, I watched Bug. Ma, you will like it. I don't know about the rest of you. It has that "but I'm the ooonly one who sends you valentines" kind of sensibility. It is fairly violent, and involves some at-home dentistry which, for someone who has only about 3 of her original teeth left (I blame my parents for refusing to allow me to brush them while force-feeding me discounted Halloween candy throughout my childhood), was extremely traumatic to watch. I know what that feels like, that bit with the pliers. Even worse than the extraordinary pain in your mouth is the conviction that what is being done to you must surely be opening up a terrible gaping hole in your skull through which your brains will leak down the back of your throat for all eternity.

Um. Sorry.

So, Bug. If you feel that you can appreciate a sort of "personality disorder-meets-paranoid schizotypal autistic" love story, then you should definitely watch it. I enjoyed it, W thought that it was hilarious. The Fats was nonplussed.

Bug
Rating: 6 Fats
A better-than-average weirdos-in-love movie for fall. Kicked Benny & Joon's ass, but then I heard about that movie from Claire Paffenhoffer. I suppose you could say I'm biased.

I also watched It Was A Wonderful Life, which was, as I has suspected, hideously depressing. The film is more about "hidden homelessness," or the unacknowledged homelessness of formerly middle-class women following some catastrophic personal event, than it is about divorce.

It Was A Wonderful Life
Rating: 5 Fats
This documentary was very well-done, but it seemed as though the director made some of the characters too sympathetic, at the expense of telling their real stories. This is understandable, since the film was clearly an appeal for more, and more effective, social programs to protect people from becoming homeless and to get those already living out of their cars back on their feet. Nevertheless, there was something about the documentary that didn't seem entirely honest.

I also saw Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, which was really funny. I highly recommend it. Val Kilmer and Robert Downey Jr. should mate.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Rating: 6 Fats
W and I didn't like the overdone narrator shtick, but otherwise it was roll-around-on-the-bed hilarious. The Fats doesn't seem to really enjoy the witty comedies...too many family members rolling around.

Andrew, check out Myshkin's Ruby Warblers. They're playing in Portland soon, and if you're interested I'd like to go check them out. People are comparing Myshkin to Joni...which, I know, may not be a good thing. But she has a beautiful voice.

Oh, oh! W gave me the BEST SURPRISE EVER for our 1/2Anniversary. That's a topic for another post. I'll give you a hint...we saw my favorite band in the world. They were amazing.