Well Isn't This Nice
So, I just took my "Marriage and Intimacy" exam. Apparently I'm not going to move on to the next level. Bah. I think that I did alright, for someone who slept through 90% of the lecture time and skimmed the required reading for about 20 minutes this morning. Yeah, I'm pretty proud of myself.
But that test...THAT TEST. That test was, to put it mildly, total bullshit. If you're going to create and administer exams as a part of your job description, the least you can do is SPELLCHECK. The least you can do is MAKE COMPLETE SENTENCES. The very least you can do is NOT LEAVE OUT KEY VERBS. You've got to have the "action word" in there, if I am to have ANY FUCKING CLUE what criteria I'm supposed to base my answer choice on. Normally I'd just shrug, but there has been entirely too much of this going on lately. I am so fed up with professors who give every appearance of holding me to a high academic standard, and then hand me an exam that looks like it was cut and pasted from the internet by a toddler. I mean, yeah, I didn't study. But I'M not getting paid for this. MAKE AN EFFORT, PEOPLE. Jesus.
In other news, I have begun plotting the ferret's ultimate and timely demise. Yesterday he knocked over a glass of cranberry juice on the table, which I didn't notice until I plopped my book in it while trying to catch him before he jumped into my cereal bowl. Seriously, when you remove him from the table he jumps into the nearest food-filled receptacle. It's quite a fucking thing.
And this was my copy of Dry! By Augusten Burroughs! W and I covered up the TV last week, because I was spending entirely too much of my life propped up on one elbow watching Family Guy and eating cookies. Emphasis on FUCKIN'COOKIES mine. Honestly, I only miss it a little. When Andrew comes over we put in a movie, and other than that I read.
By the way, anyone who hasn't seen The Insider (I know, I'm a little behind) should really see it. I think that's one of my favorite movies now. I've always kept a little flame burning for intrepid journalists.
Also, I want Al Pacino to play me in the movie version of my life. Definitely. W said something totally hilarious when I related this to him a few days ago, but I can't reprint it here because it wouldn't be funny to outsiders. You have to understand my relationship with cookies, you see. And W's relationship with thoroughly doomed enterprises.
Oh. Something that I want to mention, while I'm on the subject.
To Seal: I DO NOT WANT TO THINK OF MY BLOG AS A "FAMILY" BLOG. I also don't want to think of my blog as a "E and W" blog, or a "home" blog or anything else warm and cozy and boring. Maybe I AM warm and cozy and boring, but I prefer to think of this as a REVOLUTIONARY SPACE.
Notice the overuse of capitals? THAT'S BECAUSE I'M YELLING. I just can't get that discussion we had about blog themes the other day out of my head. I think that I don't like the direction that this blog is going. I mean, I would write more about the goings on in the world, but I thought that no one really wanted to read that. Would you? Would you like to read my political treatises? Because I just don't know...you'd have to comment. A lot. I've tried to start intellectual discussions on this page before with no luck at all. We could all try posting our fiction, but I don't think that any of us have that kind of time right now. But we could try.
I guess what I'm saying is that I'm concerned that I'm boring you. All of you. Andrew has just up and killed his thoughtspace, and I can't think of anything to update with except ferret/cat/W anecdotes. So I need to know if that's enough.
Anyway, back to plotting against my pets. So my book is ruined, and since I haven't been watching any TV lately, and I've been relying almost entirely on this book for "tv-reading," this was a huge blow. "Tv-reading" is that sort of reading that you do when you would just as soon be watching TV...you don't feel energized enough to read any new words, so you thumb through old, preferrably uncomplicated, favorites...like literary pop-tarts.
I've given away practically all of my PopTart Books at this point, to make room in our apartment for "worthwhile" literature. The Corrections is what I really want to skim, but I know that once I get started with that again I won't be able to stop. I've got some kind of compulsion.
So my plan is first, to borrow back some of my PopTart Books, and second, to let the ferret play unsupervised in the bathroom. Every single time he goes in there he finds one of those "magic staind vanishing suffused-with-lye bleach pads" that Andrew recommended and chews on it. I'm only facilitating his access to the sweet hereafter that he so obviously craves.
11 comments:
Not to make light of your pain or anything, but it's a big relief to know that you're just frustrated with all your crappy circumstances, and not angry at me. I was really afraid that you were angry at me.
Ok, SO:
--I will temporarily negelct my vegetarian sensibilities in order to eat some ferret sausage, if that's what this comes down to.
--I think the trouble is that the professors have been weathered down by unenlightened students who won't stop asking the same missing-the-point questions year after year after year, that they've finally just stopped putting any energy into the teaching, and that extends to stuff like making tests. If they didn't disengage, their heads would implode with the futility of it all. I sort of understand where they're comming from. YOU, however, deserve better. I wish there were a way for you to go to Reed or Lewis and Clark. Actually, you probably could get into University of Portland, which at the very least would have smaller classes and pay its professors more to do things like make tests. Your admissions essay would easily offset that Chinese grade.
-- I think you write a lot about home life and your relationship for the same reason that I write a lot about working and being independent, and Frazzle writes a lot about his new found sexuality: these are all new directions that we really weren't expecting our lives to take, and the idea that things could turn out so completely differently than we'd ever anticipated excites us, and the idea that others will see us in this new, unexpected light rather excites us, too. So we write about it alot.
Doesn't mean there's not anything to you besides the relationship and the home stuff, just as it doesn't mean there's nothing to Frazzle besides the anal sex. (There really isn't anything to me besides the job, but that's a special case.)
--I will gladly comment on stuff you write about politics, just don't excpect a well thought-out rebuttal from me, or anything. I can comprehend the stuff just fine, and I really enjoy reading it, but I'm terrible at forming my own opinions.
--And finally, even if life is getting to you...be nice to me? Please? It's hard for me to help people feel better about shit if I'm too busy worrying that I've done something to upset them.
Andrew
Okay, I have NO idea what you're talking about. I really thought that you and I had a good time last night. We wandered around Hawthorne, we looked at furniture, we chatted. Then you stayed over and made dinner? I just don't know what happened. I guess I was being horrible, but I don't know when and you won't tell me, except to say that you're "glad I'm not mad at you."
I don't know. I thought we had a good time. I'm sorry.
Now I feel really frustrated and depressed, and my break is over.
Um, I love you very much and think your blog is a work of masterpiece. I know that makes absolutely NO sense, but I'm rather drunk, so just bear with me.
I knew I had fucked up when I said yours seemed like a family-oriented blog, and that's just not true. I love reading it, and I hyperventilate (ish) when you update. So there.
You're fabulous, I love you, and I wouldn't say no to some sex right about now.
I always laugh when I read your blog.
I would comment on political writings at least as often as I update myself.
Okay. Thanks guys. =)
As to the idea of posting fictions, I'd do it if you did. It could be fun.
::commenting before I chicken out::
And just WHAT is wrong with FAMILY????? Think Proust, think Faulkner, Thomas Mann, Dostoyevsky, NEED I continue?
I, personally, find your Blog not only entertaining, but, well, when it's 3:00 am and there no hope of falling back to sleep, it's a warm and cozy place to go to read your latest rant? Which, I might point out, outs me in ways that I might not have, er, wanted to be outed, or er, uh.. . Ah shit... lost it. Must be jet lag.. .
PS I love you, and I know you love me too.
Oh, e-- BTW, I had the time & place wrong for Wednesday -- it's 10-2 at the Tate Center, if any friends at UGA are interested.
There will undoubtedly be other agencies looking for hirelings, too.
Our quest to find a 24-hour laundromat has finally come to an end!
It's on Lombard, 2 blocks from MLK. Not too far from the Humane Society, actually.
I did laundry at 9:30 at night on a SUNDAY. How great is that?
--Andrew
Post e! Post-- Anything
You probably won't read this, but the momster is totally right. Your family is pretty incredible...well, at least the Bold Springs family. Speaking of which, I should visit them soon.
Post a Comment